Monday, June 9, 2008
//Reflect
God works everything out for the best... I'm learning that so much right now. I'm learning to be patient and trust him. His hand is so evident in my life, it amazes me and overwhelms me most days. I thank Him for the blessings He has given me. From the people in my life to the strength He's given me to the path He is making for me every single day. I'm understanding the importance of taking the time to reflect on my life and be thankful for everything in it.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
\\make my day!
Today I was talking to a friend about enjoying the little things in life. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed and jaded by the things that aren't perfect or unfair or just unpleasant I have a tendency to focus on them and let it upset me. But if I can find something, anything, even if it's small, that's good- it will make my day! So here are some of the things that make my day.
Sweet iced tea with fresh mint- I mean really, just saying it makes me happy.
Downy fabric softener- no, I'm not convinced that it makes my clothes that much softer, but putting on a warm tee shirt that smells like lavender and vanilla in the morning is a good way to start the day.
Getting a text message in the morning from a friend just saying hi- I don't know why I love that so much, but to me it's like knowing someone cares I'm alive this morning and it makes me smile.
Chocolate Chip Peanut Butter Cliff Bars- literally the best tasting protein/ energy bars out there... Kind of like eating a cookie with no guilt.
Patty Melts from Bill and Ruth's- I don't know why they're so good, they're kind of a glorified hamburger with white cheese on rye bread, but they are delicious, and I love them.
Not going into work until 9- Only happens about once a week but there is something magical about sleeping an extra hour...
Finding a new song that I listen to over and over to soak up it's sheer brilliance- what's even better is when you find a band with lots of those songs.... mmm
Getting my back adjusted at the chiropractor- this is good for two reasons A) it helps the pain in my back and B) my chiropractor is awesome and really funny.
Playing football at internship- It helps that we all have a healthy level of competitiveness but other than that we're all pretty good which makes playing fun.
Having a moment of clarity or inspiration while writing- It just throws me on a roll and I end up writing 3 blogs and and a chapter of my book.
Running into someone I haven't seen in a long time- They're usually nicer and more complementary than people you see every day...
Vitamin Water- I get it in huge 20 packs at Sams, and it just tastes healthy, plus they list a ton of vitamins on the label that, if nothing else, make you think you're doing really good on your diet.
Sweet iced tea with fresh mint- I mean really, just saying it makes me happy.
Downy fabric softener- no, I'm not convinced that it makes my clothes that much softer, but putting on a warm tee shirt that smells like lavender and vanilla in the morning is a good way to start the day.
Getting a text message in the morning from a friend just saying hi- I don't know why I love that so much, but to me it's like knowing someone cares I'm alive this morning and it makes me smile.
Chocolate Chip Peanut Butter Cliff Bars- literally the best tasting protein/ energy bars out there... Kind of like eating a cookie with no guilt.
Patty Melts from Bill and Ruth's- I don't know why they're so good, they're kind of a glorified hamburger with white cheese on rye bread, but they are delicious, and I love them.
Not going into work until 9- Only happens about once a week but there is something magical about sleeping an extra hour...
Finding a new song that I listen to over and over to soak up it's sheer brilliance- what's even better is when you find a band with lots of those songs.... mmm
Getting my back adjusted at the chiropractor- this is good for two reasons A) it helps the pain in my back and B) my chiropractor is awesome and really funny.
Playing football at internship- It helps that we all have a healthy level of competitiveness but other than that we're all pretty good which makes playing fun.
Having a moment of clarity or inspiration while writing- It just throws me on a roll and I end up writing 3 blogs and and a chapter of my book.
Running into someone I haven't seen in a long time- They're usually nicer and more complementary than people you see every day...
Vitamin Water- I get it in huge 20 packs at Sams, and it just tastes healthy, plus they list a ton of vitamins on the label that, if nothing else, make you think you're doing really good on your diet.
Monday, May 12, 2008
\\ The undecided squirrel
A few weeks ago, I ran over a squirrel. It was not my fault. I was on my way to work and this little squirrel was on the road in my neighborhood... I stopped to let it pass, and it started to, but then started erratically running back and forth in front of me. As if he was playing some kind of game... Unfortunately for him, he lost. As I said, this was not my fault. I gave him every opportunity to get away. But he did not take it, he did his own thing, and he died... How many times do we do this in our walk with God? We are given every opportunity to have the best life imaginable, but we run back and forth... Not sure of which life to choose- a life of greatness and purpose or a life of sin and separation. And like that squirrel, we pay dearly for it. Life is not a game. It is dangerous to be so undecided... It is deadly. So lets not dash back and forth, take the right path... It's smarter... and safer that way.
Monday, May 5, 2008
\\ask
Remember when you were little and you had a million questions about everything? Everything was a mystery and you simply had to know the answer! It was innate. And it wasn't just asking questions about where the rain came from, it was asking why it rained? You spent everyday with the childlike wonder and amazement that is so precious and yet, it fades and dissipates as we "grow up". We grow up and we stop questioning. We stop asking why and how and who, and this affects our creative ability. This change manifests itself in many areas but usually it manifests in our spirituality. We take what we're told about God without seeking Him, finding who He is to us. We either stop caring all together or we just take what we're given and we never question it, wrestle with it, challenge it. I think that's dangerous, because then we become followers, instead of leaders. Don't take curiosity for granted, it's a gift from God that promotes and produces creativity in life.
Monday, April 28, 2008
\\sin
I don’t quite understand why we sin the way we do. We do the same things over and over knowing we are doing something wrong, something we have no business doing, but that never stops us. Then we repent as though God should be grateful to even hear from us. We sin and hope the grace doesn’t run out, pray that we are not wasting our breath to a God that’s tired of hearing how sorry we are that we’ve messed up yet again. Faith keeps us holding on the belief that no matter how badly we behave, we are never too far, amazingly we never are. But why, if we truly love God, would we hurt him by intentionally sinning and then repenting as though we didn’t know what we did was wrong. We get as close to the line as we can without crossing it, pointing at it and saying “Look God, I’m not crossing any lines!” Do you think he cares about the line between sinning and kind of almost sinning? Not so much. He only looks at our hearts and the motivation behind our actions.
Guilt comes with sin, we always feel bad after we do. There’s a reason we feel heavy in our hearts, it’s because we were not created to sin. We were created to live in harmony with God, to be close, to feel His heartbeat and know how he loves us. We were not created to sin because sin separates us from God; and we were created to be close to Him. Sin places a gap between Him and us, a gap that was never supposed to exist. He never intended us to be removed from His love, His grace.
So then Jesus came to this earth and died for our sins because He loves us, He wanted to bridge that gap and bring us back to Him. Does that mean that we can exploit forgiveness? Does that give us the right to test grace? I once heard grace described not as the forgiveness of God after we sin, that is mercy, but rather the supernatural ability to refrain from sinning. Grace is God’s way of saying “I know you’re human and you will make mistakes, but let me help you avoid some of those mistakes, and the pain and regret, with grace.” Mercy is God’s way of saying “I know you’re human, and you made a mistake, but I still love you.”
His love is so deep and so infinite we cannot comprehend it, it bridges all gaps and rights all wrongs. And because of that, we take advantage of it as though we deserve it. We make these excuses and comparisons “Well, I mean, at least I didn’t kill anybody. I know I sinned but was it really THAT bad?” And I think that probably breaks God’s heart more than anything. Take responsibility. Repent. Turn away from sin and start pursuing God’s grace. Love God more than your flesh and your desires. The truth is, we can make an excuse for anything, and we can justify anything in our minds, but it’s your heart that condemns you.
There is a great scripture in Ephesians (4:28) that I love it says “He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.” When you steal you are taking away from someone, when you work so that you may bless others you are giving something back. When you are sinning, whether it be stealing or something else, you are doing something completely selfish. It’s useless to stop sinning and sit idly, you have to replace the sin with something positive and good, something to benefit someone other than yourself. You have to counter act the negative behavior and the destructive patterns with positive actions. This is a practical, easy way to achieve your personal goals. Plus, giving back doesn’t feel too bad either.
Guilt comes with sin, we always feel bad after we do. There’s a reason we feel heavy in our hearts, it’s because we were not created to sin. We were created to live in harmony with God, to be close, to feel His heartbeat and know how he loves us. We were not created to sin because sin separates us from God; and we were created to be close to Him. Sin places a gap between Him and us, a gap that was never supposed to exist. He never intended us to be removed from His love, His grace.
So then Jesus came to this earth and died for our sins because He loves us, He wanted to bridge that gap and bring us back to Him. Does that mean that we can exploit forgiveness? Does that give us the right to test grace? I once heard grace described not as the forgiveness of God after we sin, that is mercy, but rather the supernatural ability to refrain from sinning. Grace is God’s way of saying “I know you’re human and you will make mistakes, but let me help you avoid some of those mistakes, and the pain and regret, with grace.” Mercy is God’s way of saying “I know you’re human, and you made a mistake, but I still love you.”
His love is so deep and so infinite we cannot comprehend it, it bridges all gaps and rights all wrongs. And because of that, we take advantage of it as though we deserve it. We make these excuses and comparisons “Well, I mean, at least I didn’t kill anybody. I know I sinned but was it really THAT bad?” And I think that probably breaks God’s heart more than anything. Take responsibility. Repent. Turn away from sin and start pursuing God’s grace. Love God more than your flesh and your desires. The truth is, we can make an excuse for anything, and we can justify anything in our minds, but it’s your heart that condemns you.
There is a great scripture in Ephesians (4:28) that I love it says “He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.” When you steal you are taking away from someone, when you work so that you may bless others you are giving something back. When you are sinning, whether it be stealing or something else, you are doing something completely selfish. It’s useless to stop sinning and sit idly, you have to replace the sin with something positive and good, something to benefit someone other than yourself. You have to counter act the negative behavior and the destructive patterns with positive actions. This is a practical, easy way to achieve your personal goals. Plus, giving back doesn’t feel too bad either.
Monday, April 14, 2008
\\effect
One. One decision, one choice. It could change everything...
Back a few (thousand) years ago there was this girl. She was a widow and after her husband died she had nothing. So this girl and her sister-in-law, whose husband was also dead, embark on this journey with their mother-in-law whose husband... was also dead... (I promise this whole story isn't about dead husbands) So they start along and halfway to this mother-in-laws hometown she decides not to take them with her. Apparently she wanted them to go find new husbands and basically leave her to be alone forever because she was too old to remarry and way too old to have more kids. This lady was a little bit of a pessimist, she kind of thought her life was cursed, lots of bitter diatribe... in my opinion people have had it worse. Anyhow, this lady tries to get rid of them and the sister-in-law cries for a while then leaves, but the girl refuses to go. She puts up this big fight and starts saying all this intense stuff about following her wherever she goes and being buried with her... She eventually convinces the mother-in-law she's not going anywhere without her. So they get to the hometown and settle down, the girl starts following harvesters and picking up their scraps for them to eat... (I promise it gets less depressing) And they make do. So then one day the owner of this field she's been in sees her and starts asking about her... Which leads me to believe she was probably really young and really pretty. And he finds out it's his relatives daughter-in-law, so naturally, he tells his guys to leave her alone and let her have the best wheat stuff and all. So one day the mother-in-law asks where she's getting the prime wheat from, so the girl tells her... (This is where it gets interesting) So the mother-in-law tells the girl to go to this party and wait until this guy eats and drinks a lot and then to go lay down at his feet. Which in my mind is a strange command. But the girl has made this undying vow of love to her so she just does it without question. So the guy likes her and wants to marry her and some other insignificant stuff happens... In the end they get married and have a baby and that baby has a baby and that baby has a baby... And so one. The cool part of the story is that the first baby- Obed- has Samuel- who has David (as in David and Goliath) who becomes king and eventually from that line comes this baby named Jesus... Funny isn't it... You can trace it back to one simple act of obedience. Sure we all say we would have, knowing the end. But this girl, Ruth, she didn't know the end. All she knew is that she was told to do something. And she did it, without question.
Back a few (thousand) years ago there was this girl. She was a widow and after her husband died she had nothing. So this girl and her sister-in-law, whose husband was also dead, embark on this journey with their mother-in-law whose husband... was also dead... (I promise this whole story isn't about dead husbands) So they start along and halfway to this mother-in-laws hometown she decides not to take them with her. Apparently she wanted them to go find new husbands and basically leave her to be alone forever because she was too old to remarry and way too old to have more kids. This lady was a little bit of a pessimist, she kind of thought her life was cursed, lots of bitter diatribe... in my opinion people have had it worse. Anyhow, this lady tries to get rid of them and the sister-in-law cries for a while then leaves, but the girl refuses to go. She puts up this big fight and starts saying all this intense stuff about following her wherever she goes and being buried with her... She eventually convinces the mother-in-law she's not going anywhere without her. So they get to the hometown and settle down, the girl starts following harvesters and picking up their scraps for them to eat... (I promise it gets less depressing) And they make do. So then one day the owner of this field she's been in sees her and starts asking about her... Which leads me to believe she was probably really young and really pretty. And he finds out it's his relatives daughter-in-law, so naturally, he tells his guys to leave her alone and let her have the best wheat stuff and all. So one day the mother-in-law asks where she's getting the prime wheat from, so the girl tells her... (This is where it gets interesting) So the mother-in-law tells the girl to go to this party and wait until this guy eats and drinks a lot and then to go lay down at his feet. Which in my mind is a strange command. But the girl has made this undying vow of love to her so she just does it without question. So the guy likes her and wants to marry her and some other insignificant stuff happens... In the end they get married and have a baby and that baby has a baby and that baby has a baby... And so one. The cool part of the story is that the first baby- Obed- has Samuel- who has David (as in David and Goliath) who becomes king and eventually from that line comes this baby named Jesus... Funny isn't it... You can trace it back to one simple act of obedience. Sure we all say we would have, knowing the end. But this girl, Ruth, she didn't know the end. All she knew is that she was told to do something. And she did it, without question.
\\FEAR
Fear is a terrible thing. It keeps us from so much. Sometimes I think fear is the only thing keeping me from getting what I want. Like in relationships. Fear of rejection, fear of commitment, fear of screwing up. I keep everyone at an arms length because I fear. I fear being alone, being hurt, being held accountable for my actions affecting someone else. I do not mean to push people away, but I do. And because I do, I feel as if I have no right to let people get close to me because I will, at some point, push them away. When I think about every reason I have to be afraid of what people are capable of, what they can do, how they can hurt me, I feel there is no other option than to keep my guard up. Because isn't it right to protect myself? Shouldn't I keep my heart in tact, instead of allowing people to rip it to shreds? I wonder so many times if I am keeping myself from something great because I fear. I fear that which I cannot control. Therefore I keep control by keeping my guard up. I know, deep down inside my heart, that I will have to trust. If I live my whole life expecting that I will never trust anyone again, I will live my whole life never trusting anyone again. It is a setup to failure. and I will have no one to blame but myself.
A lot of the time I think that we moderate our relationships using filters. I have so many of these. I name them after the person or situation responsible for the filter. I have a filter, we will call it the "todd filter", and this filter is the one that causes me to believe people always leave. And because I always have this filter, when someone tells me they are here for the long haul, I always doubt them, I have actually been known to push people away to see how easily they will leave once things aren't perfect. Sadly, a lot of the time, they do leave... And it only creates another filter or causes a current one to become stronger. It's a vicious cycle and over the years I developed a lot of them. Part of getting over fear is letting go the need to have it mandate your relationships. If you judge people on your past and the people who have hurt you, you will always find a way to push away. It's hard to let go of all the things I've built up over the years, letting the scars heal and bruises fade is easier said than done.
Trust is the result of a risk that survives. The hard part is taking the risk and not letting fear stop me. All of life's tests and trials, and my own mistakes, are only valuable if you learn something. I suppose that's the point, to let go of fear and be brave, and see the value in it. Our lives are our own to do with what we will. Good or bad we take it all and we make what we can with it. Fear is the only thing stopping us, and fear is only as powerful as we allow it to be.
A lot of the time I think that we moderate our relationships using filters. I have so many of these. I name them after the person or situation responsible for the filter. I have a filter, we will call it the "todd filter", and this filter is the one that causes me to believe people always leave. And because I always have this filter, when someone tells me they are here for the long haul, I always doubt them, I have actually been known to push people away to see how easily they will leave once things aren't perfect. Sadly, a lot of the time, they do leave... And it only creates another filter or causes a current one to become stronger. It's a vicious cycle and over the years I developed a lot of them. Part of getting over fear is letting go the need to have it mandate your relationships. If you judge people on your past and the people who have hurt you, you will always find a way to push away. It's hard to let go of all the things I've built up over the years, letting the scars heal and bruises fade is easier said than done.
Trust is the result of a risk that survives. The hard part is taking the risk and not letting fear stop me. All of life's tests and trials, and my own mistakes, are only valuable if you learn something. I suppose that's the point, to let go of fear and be brave, and see the value in it. Our lives are our own to do with what we will. Good or bad we take it all and we make what we can with it. Fear is the only thing stopping us, and fear is only as powerful as we allow it to be.
Stuff Christians Like!
I recently found this website through one of the other interns (thanks Gabby!)
It's witty and sarcastic (which I love)... stuffchristianslike.blogspot.com... It's basically a blog about stuff Christians like. This guy that writes is it awesome! He updates it like every day and it gets better and better! He writes about everything from the Michael W. Smith hit "friends are friends forever" being sung at camp to wishing your testimony was more exciting to the side hug...
My favorites and must reads are:
#5- Bootleg cookies
#6- Songs with bottomless lyrics
#14- Dating God instead of me
#23- Tattoos for God
#24- Church names that sounds like clothing stores
#47- Rooting for secret Christians on American Idol
#74- Youth group vehicles that break down, blow up and in general suck
#81- Disguising gossip as prayer
#89- Knowing where not to be during the rapture
#103- Singing "Our God is an Awesome God"
#106- The Side Hug
#108- Not knowing how to hold hands.
#113- Booty, God, Booty
#115- Kissing dating goodbye
#125- The mandatory youth minister goatee
#130- Praying at people
#131- The Bald Worship Leader
#137- Holding retreats at locations that could double as horror movies
It's witty and sarcastic (which I love)... stuffchristianslike.blogspot.com... It's basically a blog about stuff Christians like. This guy that writes is it awesome! He updates it like every day and it gets better and better! He writes about everything from the Michael W. Smith hit "friends are friends forever" being sung at camp to wishing your testimony was more exciting to the side hug...
My favorites and must reads are:
#5- Bootleg cookies
#6- Songs with bottomless lyrics
#14- Dating God instead of me
#23- Tattoos for God
#24- Church names that sounds like clothing stores
#47- Rooting for secret Christians on American Idol
#74- Youth group vehicles that break down, blow up and in general suck
#81- Disguising gossip as prayer
#89- Knowing where not to be during the rapture
#103- Singing "Our God is an Awesome God"
#106- The Side Hug
#108- Not knowing how to hold hands.
#113- Booty, God, Booty
#115- Kissing dating goodbye
#125- The mandatory youth minister goatee
#130- Praying at people
#131- The Bald Worship Leader
#137- Holding retreats at locations that could double as horror movies
Monday, April 7, 2008
Music!
I'm always searching for new good music. This weekend I hit the jackpot when I got some suggestions from my buddy Brian who is a youth pastor in Arkansas... So I decided to share my new finds and some old favorites with you!
Misty Edwards- So amazing! Great worship music. Her voice sounds like Sara Bareilles. My favorite songs are "You Won't Relent" and "My Soul Longs for You"
Tenth Avenue North- Great new band, on a worship tour right now (check their myspace to see if they're near you!) Best song "Love is Here" will make you cry... Sound like a mix between Coldplay, One Republic and Switchfoot.
Jesus Culture- Get this CD! It's some of the best worship. Kim Walker's songs are my favorite on the album... "How He Loves" is probably my favorite song of all time.
Desperation Bands new album Everyone Overcome- "Coming your Way" is amazing!
Casting Crowns- I know I'm late in discovering them... lol but I really like the song "Slow Fade"
The Afters- Such a good band- you probably heard their song "Beautiful Love" somewhere- it was really popular last year!
Jonathan Foreman- The lead singer of Switchfoot- He's been releasing EP's on Itunes every season.... Fall, Winter, Spring... They are amazing! Get all of them!
Misty Edwards- So amazing! Great worship music. Her voice sounds like Sara Bareilles. My favorite songs are "You Won't Relent" and "My Soul Longs for You"
Tenth Avenue North- Great new band, on a worship tour right now (check their myspace to see if they're near you!) Best song "Love is Here" will make you cry... Sound like a mix between Coldplay, One Republic and Switchfoot.
Jesus Culture- Get this CD! It's some of the best worship. Kim Walker's songs are my favorite on the album... "How He Loves" is probably my favorite song of all time.
Desperation Bands new album Everyone Overcome- "Coming your Way" is amazing!
Casting Crowns- I know I'm late in discovering them... lol but I really like the song "Slow Fade"
The Afters- Such a good band- you probably heard their song "Beautiful Love" somewhere- it was really popular last year!
Jonathan Foreman- The lead singer of Switchfoot- He's been releasing EP's on Itunes every season.... Fall, Winter, Spring... They are amazing! Get all of them!
Monday, March 31, 2008
\\IN
I think one of the most incredible and powerful things that we can learn and know is the simple idea that God wants to encounter us, to be in us, to love us. He wants us to see who He is, wants us to feel His love. The love of God is so passionate and overwhelming- impossible to comprehend- so beautiful that we become scared of experiencing it. And because of that we shy away from really pursuing God, and letting Him pursue us... In the bible it says that if we draw near to Him, He will draw near to us. He's saying "I know, it's scary, and it's hard and it's a lot to take in, but just let go and come closer and I will take care of the rest." So many times we push God away because we don't want our junk being dealt with or our perspective being questioned, or we think that we are just not enough. We make it so that God can't get to us, can't change us. We were never meant to be perfect, never destined to "arrive". So when did we discover the need to try?
What if, for one moment, we set aside our fear of failure, our need for approval and our performance driven mindset and just let God be God. And do what He wants, and move how He wants and just let His love wash over us and change the things we cannot ourselves change. What if, for one moment we stopped, quit trying to control our situation and our faults and just let Him be in us. Changing and molding and reshaping us. Why not just let God be God? Why not just let God love us as we are? Who are we to tell God when we are good enough for Him to love?
We were created with a void. So deep inside of us, so profoundly empty that nothing can make it go away. We are alone. And lost. There is no cure, no remedy to that lack... Other than God's love. Because the thing about the love of God is that, it changes us. It changes us in our core, and all the hurt and the pain and the imperfections and the challenges don't matter anymore. He takes it all away and He just loves us. As we are. And it's that love and that power that makes life worth it. He gives meaning and purpose to everyone and everything. So if you're scared that what you have isn't enough, remember the power of His love. Because that love... It changes everything.
What if, for one moment, we set aside our fear of failure, our need for approval and our performance driven mindset and just let God be God. And do what He wants, and move how He wants and just let His love wash over us and change the things we cannot ourselves change. What if, for one moment we stopped, quit trying to control our situation and our faults and just let Him be in us. Changing and molding and reshaping us. Why not just let God be God? Why not just let God love us as we are? Who are we to tell God when we are good enough for Him to love?
We were created with a void. So deep inside of us, so profoundly empty that nothing can make it go away. We are alone. And lost. There is no cure, no remedy to that lack... Other than God's love. Because the thing about the love of God is that, it changes us. It changes us in our core, and all the hurt and the pain and the imperfections and the challenges don't matter anymore. He takes it all away and He just loves us. As we are. And it's that love and that power that makes life worth it. He gives meaning and purpose to everyone and everything. So if you're scared that what you have isn't enough, remember the power of His love. Because that love... It changes everything.
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